The following open letter by Heather Barwick, a happily married mother of four, was originally posted on The Federalist website March 17, 2015:
Dear Gay Community: Your Kids Are Hurting
I loved my mom’s partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost.
Gay community, I am your daughter. My mom raised me with her same-sex partner back in the ’80s and ’90s. She and my dad were married for a little while. She knew she was gay before they got married, but things were different back then. That’s how I got here. It was complicated as you can imagine. She left him when I was two or three because she wanted a chance to be happy with someone she really loved: a woman.
My dad wasn’t a great guy, and after she left him he didn’t bother coming around anymore.
Do you remember that book, “Heather Has Two Mommies”? That was my life. My mom, her partner, and I lived in a cozy little house in the ‘burbs of a very liberal and open-minded area. Her partner treated me as if I was her own daughter. Along with my mom’s partner, I also inherited her tight-knit community of gay and lesbian friends. Or maybe they inherited me?
Either way, I still feel like gay people are my people. I’ve learned so much from you. You taught me how to be brave, especially when it is hard. You taught me empathy. You taught me how to listen. And how to dance. You taught me not be afraid of things that are different. And you taught me how to stand up for myself, even if that means I stand alone.
I’m writing to you because I’m letting myself out of the closet: I don’t support gay marriage. But it might not be for the reasons that you think.
Children Need a Mother and Father
It’s not because you’re gay. I love you, so much. It’s because of the nature of the same-sex relationship itself.
Growing up, and even into my 20s, I supported and advocated for gay marriage. It’s only with some time and distance from my childhood that I’m able to reflect on my experiences and recognize the long-term consequences that same-sex parenting had on me. And it’s only now, as I watch my children loving and being loved by their father each day, that I can see the beauty and wisdom in traditional marriage and parenting.
Same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn’t matter. That it’s all the same. But it’s not. A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting. My father’s absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mom’s partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost.
I grew up surrounded by women who said they didn’t need or want a man. Yet, as a little girl, I so desperately wanted a daddy. It is a strange and confusing thing to walk around with this deep-down unquenchable ache for a father, for a man, in a community that says that men are unnecessary. There were times I felt so angry with my dad for not being there for me, and then times I felt angry with myself for even wanting a father to begin with. There are parts of me that still grieve over that loss today.
Not a Hater: Austin Ruse of the Catholic Family and Human Rights Institute (C-FAM). Ruse’s group has been slandered by the leftist SPLC as a “hate group.”
By Peter LaBarbera
The pro-LGBT Left’s “hate” game is a cynical exercise in demonization and manipulation: by smearing people and organizations that oppose homosexual “marriage” or “gay” activism as “haters,” they seek to establish a narrative that delegitimizes any opposition to homosexualism as the moral equivalent of racism. The Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) has turned this spurious tactic into a money-making machine–see the current issue of WND’s Whistleblower magazine, “The Hate Racket.”
Below is an example of how homosexual activists like Joe Jervis, creater of the Joe.My.God blog, play the SPLC hate card against pro-family advocates. Note Jervis’ headline:
“Haters Are Thrilled that Italian Designers Dolce & Gabbana Oppose LGBT Rights”:
The alleged “hater” to which Jervis refers is not hateful at all. Austin Ruse is a Breitbart writer, a dedicated Catholic family man and the president of Catholic Family and Human Rights Institute, which fights for pro-life and pro-family values at the United Nations. Ruse is a smart and capable guy–but his organization, like AFTAH, has been slandered by the SPLC as a “hate group” [see the map's New York listings; AFTAH is found in the map's Illinois listings].
For Mother’s Day Starbucks released the commercial below, voiced by Oprah Winfrey and hawking a new “Oprah Chai” tea. The ad celebrates all sorts of moms–including the “two moms are better than one mom”–shown with the affectionate lesbian “moms” at right and the “M’s” in “MOM” in what I suppose is an alphabetic homoerotic embrace (see :24 point in ad). [Watch ad on Starbucks YouTube page HERE.]
Messages like this no long shock a post-Christian America shaped in part by decadent corporations pandering to the highly organized LGBT lobby. Starbucks already has sold its corporate soul (is that an oxymoron?) to the homosexual agenda. Its executives made that clear in 2012 when they defiantly rebuffed a boycott threat by the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) and affirmed that support for homosexual “marriage” is a “core” Starbucks value.
The NOM “Dump Starbucks” boycott that followed seems anemic two years later (only 68,200 pledges)–but Starbucks [877-421-9062] remains a plump target for a more effectual and better organized boycott. Let’s face it: finding substitutes for overpriced yuppie coffee is pretty easy. We’ll see what happens, but one thing is certain: Starbucks execs are not backing down in their support of sexual sin and they surely aren’t acting like they fear the consumer power of mobilized religious conservatives.
As for the content of the ad, Oprah and Starbucks are dead wrong: Two lesbians “moms” are NOT better than one mom–especially one raising children with her husband and their father in a real marriage. And if higher numbers are better, wouldn’t three or four lesbian moms be best? We used to take it for granted that kids do better with a married mother and father, but now that’s a point of contention and marriage itself is being radically redefined. The reality is, this liberal social engineering is bad for kids: Kansas State professor Walter Schumm confirmed ”[Paul] Cameron’s (2006) hypothesis that gay and lesbian parents would be more likely to have gay, lesbian, bisexual or unsure (of sexual orientation) sons and daughters.”
As for single moms, our hearts go out to the many women who find themselves struggling to provide for their children with no dad in the house. But at least in most cases, single moms did not set out to deny their kids a father–just as single straight dads–unlike homosexual two-”dad” households–did not intentionally create motherless homes. And unlike those snuggling Starbucks lesbians in the ad below, single moms are not modeling deviant and immoral behavior condemned by God to their innocent children. –Peter LaBarbera, AFTAH
‘Defend Marriage Lobby Day’ today in Springfield aims at stopping bill in House
This will never be a “marriage,” no matter what laws are changed.
Dear AFTAH Readers,
Today (Wed., Feb. 20th) is Defend Marriage Lobby Day in Springfield, Illinois, as pro-family citizens rally in the state capital against a homosexual “marriage” bill proposed by the Democrats for our state. Our friends at Illinois Family Institute organized this special day to help citizens express their unyielding support for real, natural marriage (one man, one woman) in the Land of Lincoln — which is already reeling from previous pro-homosexual laws. The “gay marriage” bill, SB 10, passed the state Senate on Feb. 14 with the votes of 33 Democrats and one lone Republican, Sen. Jason Barickman (Bloomington), so it is critical to stop the bill in the House. The Democrats who run Illinois — from Chicago Mayor Rahm Emmanuel to Gov. Pat Quinn — have made passing a “gay marriage” bill a TOP PRIORITY, so please get involved on the side of “Nature and Nature’s God” to thwart their efforts!
TAKE ACTION — Illinois Citizens: Please attend the Lobby Day today if you are able: there is a 10:30 AM rally outside the Capitol Building in Springfield (401 S. 2nd Street, Springfield, IL), followed by lobbying. IFI will help you lobby your representative if you’ve never done it before! See their site for more details: http://illinoisfamily.org/politics/lobby-day-instructions-what-to-expect-on-feb-20th/. For those in Chicagoland, Kathy Barnette of Truth Exchange still has room on her bus for the trip to Springfield; see the Truth Exchange site.
If you cannot make the trip, make sure to call or write your State Representative and voice your opposition to the “gay marriage” bill. Call the Springfield Capitol Switchboard at 217-782-2000. Find you elected officials HERE.
We already know the ramifications of legalized homosexual “marriage” from other states like Massachusetts:
Religious liberty and freedom of conscience (i.e., the freedom to oppose homosexuality) will be repressed by the state in the name of “gay rights”; Illinois has already experienced this under our “Civil Unions” law [see the case of the Walders' bed-and-breakfast in Paxton, IL]. Despite the current bill being amended to protect churches and religious institutions, business owners — even devout Christians — who cater to weddings (such as banquet hall owners and photographers) could be forced to use their facilities or expertise to celebrate homosexual “marriages”;
Liberal teachers, especially in public schools, will be emboldened to promote homosexual relationships to students in the classroom; homosexual teachers will be given a platform to discuss their “marriages” and to model homosexuality as normal, natural and good to students. Parents will have a harder time stopping the promotion of homosexuality in schools;
Homosexual “sex ed” will gain ground in Illinois schools. Under the radical egalitarian idea that all relationships are morally “equal” and worthy of marriage, “safer gay sex” will be taught non-judgmentally alongside (normal) heterosexual sex. “Abstinence until marriage” (which regrettably is not the norm but only the ideal for most Illinois health classrooms) would apply to homosexual- and bisexual- as well as “straight” students — despite the reality that all homosexual sex is inherently immoral. High-risk and unnatural practices like anal sex will be mainstreamed in our schools. (Could teaching the truth that sex between men is linked disproportionately to HIV and various sexually-transmitted diseases lead to charges of “anti-gay discrimination”?) And deviant lesbian sex will be taught for girls who in the future might “marry” a woman.
Businessmen will be forced to recognize and subsidize their employees’ immoral same-sex “marriages”; a form of this is already happening under Illinois’ “Civil Unions” law;
Society will be corrupted as unequal things are treated as equal; children will be further confused as the law (which is a teacher, as the saying goes) creates a Brave New Morality that officially “weds” sinful, unnatural and changeable behavior to the noble and life-sustaining institution of marriage;
Homosexual activists will be energized to use the homosexual “marriage” law to pressure citizens to approve of their lifestyle and step up their crusade to stigmatize, demonize and discredit pro-family Christians and moral opponents of homosexuality. Groups like AFTAH that embrace wholesome, godly morality will be vilified as “hateful and bigoted.” And, as we have witnessed in Massachusetts, the push for ever more extreme “LGBT rights” would be propelled by enactment of “same-sex marriage” — including “transgender” activism in schools.
Legalized homosexual “marriage” will help “normalize” homosexual adoption, thus consigning greater numbers of innocent children to be raised in households that are motherless or fatherless by design.
[NOTE: this interview occurred BEFORE the Illinois homosexual "marriage" bill, SB10, was amended prior to passage Feb. 14. The amended bill precludes churches and religious institutions from being forced to host homosexual "marriage" celebrations in their building. However, this amendment applies only to explicitly religious institutions; Christian- and other moral-minded business-owners could still be forced to host homosexual "marriage" ceremonies and related celebrations under the bill despite their deeply-felt opposition to "gay marriage." -- Peter LaBarbera]
This interview [click HERE to listen] with Illinois pro-family lobbyist Ralph Rivera was conducted on February 4, 2013. Rivera is a lobbyist for the Illinois Family Institute – which is sponsoring a Defend Marriage Lobby Day against the homosexual “marriage” bill in Springfield on Wednesday, Feb. 20th. Along with AFTAH President Peter LaBarbera and co-host John Kirkwood (of Grace Gospel Fellowship church), Rivera discusses the pro-homosexual-”marriage” bill looming in the state’s General Assembly. (The Illinois Senate is reportedly slated for a floor vote on the bill on Valentine’s Day, Feb. 14.)
Rivera explains the bill’s threat to religious liberty — e.g., how in its original draft (likely to be amended) it would force churches and religious institutions that rent their facilities to the public to host homosexual “weddings.” There is also a discussion of how legalized “gay marriage” effectively forces pro-homosexual ”lessons” into public schools. In addition, the three discuss the Boy Scouts of America’s proposed change allowing openly homosexual Scoutmasters and Scouts. Rivera is also a longtime pro-life lobbyist for Illinois Citizens for Life.
HOW TO LISTEN: This is an mp3 file, supported in most operating systems by Windows Media Player, Quick Time and/or I-Tunes. Real Player is not supported and there may be difficulty when attempting to listen with it. Left click once on the link below to play. (Please be patient, depending upon the speed of your internet connection it may take a moment to load.) OR right click the link then “save target as” to download the whole show.
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WARNING: Offensive Images Inappropriate for Children
By Peter LaBarbera, AFTAH Exclusive
Out-and-proud gender confusion on display for the kiddos. Drag queen marches in “Philly Pride” parade. Click on all photos to view enlarged.
The following are some photos taken at Philadelphia’s homosexual (“Gay”) Pride Parade and “PrideDay” festival Sunday, June 10, 2012, by this reporter for Americans For Truth About Homosexuality (AFTAH). The Philly parade and the festival at Penn’s Landing that followed it were small compared to much larger homosexual “pride” parades and festivals in cities like Chicago and San Francisco — but both events were attended by many young children. I witnessed dozens of children from the very young to teenagers marching in the parade and there were also many observing it from the side streets.
Perhaps even some of AFTAH’s homosexual critics would admit that the scenes depicted below are not appropriate for children. Yet more than ever, in major cities across the country, children are a common sight at ”gay pride” parades and festivals – as “proud” homosexual parents bring their children to these libidinous celebrations of sexual sin and gender confusion. [Permission is granted to use any photo provided that credit is given to "Americans For Truth About Homosexuality; www.americansfortruth.org." Direct questions to: firstname.lastname@example.org.]
We have blocked the eyes of all the young children shown in our photos; click on photos to view in enlarged format:
Sadomasochist man in a gown of sorts marches along 7th Street in Philadelphia carrying “Leather Pride” black-and-blue flag. The man to his left is carrying a “Bear Pride” flag. “Bear” is slang for heavier, hairy homosexual men.
Would you even consider taking YOUR children to a parade where behavior like this occurs — and worse, letting them march in it? These go-go boys were grinding against each other on the top of a float:
Go-go boys grind to the music on a float in the Philly homosexual “Pride” parade. Young children both participated in the same parade and watched it from the side streets.
The following is a graphic created by the Washington Times for its article (June 11, 2012) reporting on the new Social Science Research journal study by University of Texas researcher Mark Regnerus on the dramatic differences in children raised by intact, biological parents compared to two lesbians:
This is Part One of a three-part interview with Peter Sprigg [click HERE to listen], Senior Fellow for Policy Studies at the Family Research Council. This podcast was recorded June 14, 2012. Sprigg is the author of “Outrage: How Gay Activists and Liberal Judges Are Trashing Democracy to Redefine Marriage” (Regnery, 2004), and is co-editor of the FRC book “Getting It Straight: What the Research Shows about Homosexuality.” The bulk of this interview deals with the new study on homosexual parenting” by University of Texas scholar Mark Regnerus, appearing in the journal Social Science Research (June 10, 2012). The study found dramatic differences between children raised in normal, mom-and-dad families and those raised in lesbian-led households. Sprigg is also on the Board of PFOX (Parents & Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays). Joining program host Peter LaBarbera of Americans For Truth is Pastor John Kirkwood of Grace Gospel Fellowship Church in Bensenville, IL.
HOW TO LISTEN: This is an mp3 file, supported in most operating systems by Windows Media Player, Quick Time and/or I-Tunes. Real Player is not supported and there may be difficulty when attempting to listen with it. Left click once on the link below to play.(Please be patient, depending upon the speed of your internet connection it may take a moment or two to load.) OR right click the link then “save target as” to download the whole show.
Pro-family advocates in Chicago rally against the new "Civil Unions" law in Illinois. The bill, HB 1716, was passed in a lame-duck session and ironically called the "Illinois Religious Freedom Protection and Civil Unions Act" despite the fact that its passage immediately put Illinois citizens' religious and First Amendment liberties in jeopardy. Photo by Lynn Thomas; click to enlarge.
Americans For Truth About Homosexuality (www.aftah.org); June 1, 2011
Homosexual behavior is always wrong, according to the broad sweep of Judeo-Christian history, so it is tragic to behold the State of Illinois – or any government entity – recognizing immoral same-sex relationships and treating them like marriage. Moreover, for the City of Chicago and Gov. Pat Quinn to celebrate homosexuality with a mass Civil Union ceremony June 2nd is an act of hubris and defiance toward the Creator that mocks His wonderful plan for real marriage – the sacred union of a man and a woman to produce children and family. The pandering Quinn – epitomizing the modern Democratic politician –mocks his own professed Catholicism by working tirelessly to undermine its clear moral dictates.
The anti-Christian Civil Unions law must be repealed. It was passed in a lame-duck session that once again revealed the contempt that liberal Illinois lawmakers have for the citizens they are supposed to serve. Ironically, shortly after passage of this bill – mischievously titled the Religious Freedom Protection and Civil Unions Act –religious liberty for Illinois citizens and religious institutions was immediately put in jeopardy. A homosexual male couple targeted Paxton, Illinois, bed-and-breakfast owners Jim and Beth Walder – who now face prosecution by the State because they refuse – as Christians – to hold “civil union” ceremonies celebrating homosexuality on their own business property. And theRockford Diocese’s Catholic Charities announced that it will halt its state-funded foster care and adoption services rather than be forced by the State of Illinois to place children in same-sex households that are motherless or fatherless by design.